Feeling sexy isn't always as easy as it seems, especially when it comes to building your sexual confidence.
And when your sex life is in a rut, it's easy to assume there's not much to be done.
However, use this rut as a chance to reinvent yourself and add some spice back in the bedroom.
If you're looking for ways to shift your mindset and give your sex life a boost, here are 4 tips that will shake things up.
Set the mood
Creating a positive atmosphere that encourages comfort and sexual freedom is crucial to building your confidence in the bedroom.
Although there's nothing wrong with your usual surroundings, creating a sexier atmosphere will help you get in the right mindset and mood.
Now, this doesn't mean you have to hang a sex swing in the middle of your bedroom, but taking the time to set to the mood with slight changes can improve intimacy and keep your spark alive.
Start by lighting a couple of candles throughout the space and dimming your lights.
Lighting can quickly transform any space and create a sexy ambiance.
Music can also play a significant role in setting the mood. Keep in mind what music your partner or you might enjoy.
If you have difficulty choosing, look for a sex playlist on YouTube or your music streaming service to help.
Lastly, if you're looking for a change, opt out of the bedroom and into the bathroom. A warm bath with essential oils not only does wonders for muscle tension but also can heighten your sexual experience.
However, bathwater isn't a lubricant, so don't forget to grab organic lubricant to really secure a good time.
Prepare for the Unexpected
Before you can jump into the sheets, make sure you're prepared for anything that might be holding you back from feeling confident.
Even though it's normal to feel nervous before sex, your nerves shouldn't stop you from feeling good and achieving ultimate pleasure.
Take the time to get to know yourself more intimately first to help ease bedroom-related insecurities.
Masturbation, with or without sex toys, is a great way to build healthier sexual self-esteem and get to know your own body.
If your nerves stem from a potential sexual dysfunction like erectile dysfunction, then talk to your doctor about ED treatments that work for you.
There is no shame in seeking out a treatment option. It can help you focus on the overall experience rather than the outcome.
Many reasons might cause sexual dysfunctions or sexual anxiety, but addressing the issue will save a lot of time and will help better prepare you for the unexpected.
Dress Up
We all have fantasies, and role-playing is a great way to experiment with them in a safe and trusting space.
This doesn't mean you have to jump right into full costume and character. Start small by simply talking about your fantasies.
Once you both have an idea of where you want to go, add details by moving on verbally and pretending to be your characters.
You can then bring in props and costumes as you feel more comfortable.
Role-playing can be highly erotic and add a new layer of intimacy to the relationship.
If you're not ready to jump into role-playing but want to feel sexier on the outside, then consider wearing something that makes you feel good.
Lingerie is a fun way to set the mood and help build your inner confidence.
Consider going shopping with your partner to give them a fun taste of what's to come or wearing your lingerie underneath your clothes as a sexy secret between you and your partner.
Take Charge
Nothing is sexier than someone who knows what they want. However, it can seem intimidating if you're unsure about where or how to start.
Start by taking the initiative and making a sexy suggestion to include sex toys you enjoy or inciting sex in a different location.
Don't wait for your partner to tell you what to do but fully embrace what feels good to you.
If you want to experiment with different positions, shake up your everyday routine and suggest you lead the way.
Being in control can empower and help you feel sexier when making decisions. You can even take turns planning a night where you can embrace your sexuality in whatever way makes you feel good.
Whether that be dirty talk or new forms of foreplay, it will take some of the pressure off and allow you both to focus on your pleasure more confidently.
Remember: the most challenging part of feeling sexier is letting go of your own insecurities. Everyone's sex life looks different, but as you focus on what makes you feel good, everything else will fall into place.