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When you go to a store to buy your first condom, it may feel like you have a dude with a megaphone walking behind you shouting: “This person is about to have sex and they have no idea what they’re doing!”
And then there’s the anxiety about who might witness you browsing the devil’s balloons.
Every other shopper could potentially be your grandma—she’s just waiting to emerge from the frozen foods aisle just as you’re picking up a box of ribbed and studded hog holsters.
So, how do you buy your first condom without having a nervous breakdown?
And how do you know which one is the right condom for you? We’ve got the advice you need below, 100% grandma-free, guaranteed.
How to Buy Your First Condom
Buying condoms can be stressful even for experienced condom shoppers. Before making your first condom purchase, there are a few things you should know.
Don’t Buy Condoms at the Store
The only reason to buy something at a store these days is if you need to ask the staff for their expert opinion.
Sorry to say, but nobody at the pharmacy or the grocery store is going to measure your D and size you up for the best condom.
You’re much better off buying condoms online. Here’s why:
👉 Waaaay more variety: Most stores stock 10-15 types of condoms from just a few brands. Online stores stock 100s of rubbers from dozens of brands.
👉 Better info: Learn the benefits of each condom along with info on size, safety, style, and more.
👉 No pressure: Take your time and shop around. Your grandma is nowhere to be found.
👉 Lower prices: Online condom retailers don’t have to pay massive overhead like stores do, so you can get the same condoms for up to 50% less $$$.
👉 Discretion: Worried about someone seeing condoms in your mail? Brands like Condomania ship in discreet packaging, so nobody will know what’s up with your package. Billing is also discreet, meaning nothing condom-related will show up on your bank or credit card statement.
Instead, buy condoms online at Condomania. We’ve been selling condoms for over 30 years, and we have the best selection of rubbers online. We also make it really easy to filter your search for your size and style preferences.
While you’re at it, you can also pick up some lube (without lube, condoms can break or slip off!) or a sex toy to add some spice to the bedroom.
But before you run off, you might need a few more tips on finding the right condom. If so, keep reading.
How to Find Your Condom Size
Don’t just choose a condom with the coolest-looking box or kinkiest design. Condoms come in many shapes and sizes, and finding the right one is the key to having great (and safe) sex. So, how do you find a condom in your size?
First off, you’ve got to learn the angle of your dangle. By that, we mean you’ve got to measure your penis.
First, measure your length from top to bottom. Measure from where the shaft begins at the pubic bone. You might have to press down a bit to get an accurate measure. You can use a ruler or measuring tape.
Next, measure your girth. To do that, wrap a piece of string around the thickest part of your dong. Then, use a ruler to measure the string. You can also just use a measuring tape.
Ok, now, look at the condom size chart below. Find your penis measurments and check which condom size the correspond to.
Now you know your condom size!
Unfortunately, it’s often tough to locate the sizing information on condom packaging. That’s why Condomania categorizes condoms by size. We also include condom measurements on every product page.
Just click a link below to shop for condoms by size.
👉 Extra-large condoms
How to Choose the Best Type of Condom
The world of condoms is a wide one (or should we say girthy?).
There are many types to choose from, including ribbed, flared, studded, flavored, warming, ultra-thin, and more. How do you choose the right style for your first condom?
Start simple. There’s no point in getting a condom souped up with bonus features before you experience the original version.
Choose a standard, straight-fit condom in your size. We can’t stress enough that size does matter when buying your first condom.
Here are a few classics we recommend for your first buy:
👉 The original: Trojan ENZ
👉 Bargain buy: Crown Skinless Skin
👉 For a snug fit: CautionWear Iron Grip
👉 For bigger guys: Titan Large
👉 Latex-free: LifeStyles SKYN
👉 Vegan: Union Standard
Choose one of these condoms for your first buy and you can’t go wrong!
Do You Need Lube?
Yup, you most certainly need lube. Condoms are intended to be used with lube. In fact, using a condom without lube may increase your chances of a condom malfunction (such as the condom tearing or coming off during sex).
And it definitely increases your chances of having bad sex.
Condoms come pre-lubricated, but not with enough lube to sustain your entire sesh. By adding a bit of extra lube, you make things a lot more comfy and pleasurable for both you and your partner. But which one should you choose?
Start with a water-based lube. This type of lube is the most versatile, so you can use it with every kind of condom. It’s safe for all kinds of sex too, including oral, anal, and vaginal. Plus, it won’t stain your sheets or your clothes. We recommend Sliquid H2O.
If you want an extra slippery lube, go with silicone lube. It’s more expensive, but it lasts longer than water-based lubes. Try Gun Oil.
Do NOT use oil-based lube with condoms. Oil can degrade latex and cause a tear. However, oil-based lube is fine to use with non-latex condoms made from polyurethane, polyethylene resin, or lambskin.
Buying lube in person is way more stressful than buying condoms. It shouldn’t be, but something about handing a bottle of sex lube to a cashier is just nerve-wracking.
It’s also super expensive at the store.
Instead, shop lube online at Condomania. We have all the lube you could ever dream of in every slippery variety, including water-based lube, silicone lube, oil-based lube, and hybrid lube.
Want to learn more about sex lube? Check out our ultimate guide to lube here.
Try a Condom Variety Pack
Finding the perfect fitting condom for your Johnson takes time.
You’ve got to learn what it feels like to do the no-pants dance with a condom first, and then you can start to experiment with different condoms until you find the most comfortable fit.
Unfortunately, this involves buying a lot of condoms, and it can take time to find one that really fits like a glove.
Or, you can speed run through the process with a condom variety pack. A variety pack lets you experience anywhere from 3 to 12 different condoms for the price of one box.
In this way, you can potentially test a year’s worth of condoms in just a few weeks, which will make you a condom pro in no time.
And most importantly, it’ll help you find the perfect size and style for your needs.
For beginners, we recommend getting a variety pack of condoms in your size.
Every condom is sized a bit differently, so even if you’re packing an average-sized member, not every standard-sized condom will fit you just right.
By trying a number of condoms in your size range, you’re guaranteed to find a proper fit in no time.
Try one of these variety packs:
👉 Smaller (snug) size condom variety pack
👉 Standard size condom variety pack
👉 Large size condom variety pack
If you’re looking for something a little kinkier (or you just want to try loads of different condoms), you’ll find a lot more condom variety packs here.
Bonus: How To Put On A Condom
Whether you’re buying your first condom for yourself or for a potential partner, you need to know the basics of wrangling a penis with a condom.
Here’s how to put on a condom (without looking like a total noob).
- Step 1: Use your fingers to open the condom wrapper along the spiky edge of the package (or where indicated). Never use scissors or other sharp objects to open a condom.
- Step 2: Place the condom on the head of the erect penis with the tip facing up (it should look like a little hat on your peen). Optional: put a bit of lube on the head of the penis too.
- Step 3: Unroll the condom over your shaft by pinching the tip and sliding it down. Roll it all the way down to the base of your D. DO NOT unroll the condom before putting it on.
- Step 4: Pinch the reservoir tip of the condom to remove any excess air.
- Step 5: Apply some lube to your condom-clad D. You can also add some to your partner’s naughty bits if they want.
- Step 6: Go to pleasuretown.
When you’re finished with your sex sesh, remove the condom immediately and throw it away.
Be careful when you take it off to avoid dripping fluids. It’s best to remove the condom carefully and put it in a tissue before tossing it in the garbage.
Also, whether you come or not, NEVER reuse a condom. That’s sooo gross.
Get Ready to Lose Your C-card
Are you a condom-shopping virgin? Well, get ready to lose your C-card.
Thanks to the wonders of the internet and all the great resources provided by Condomania, it’s ridiculously easy to buy your first condom (and hopefully, many many more!).
Remember, when you shop at Condomania, you’ll get free shipping on orders over $45, so now is a good time to buy some lube too.
And we ALWAYS ship and bill discreetly, so nobody will know your business but you.
You may even get some free condoms with your purchase….
Shopping for condoms is no longer the anxiety-inducing task it once was.
At Condomania, it’s actually fun! Click one of the condoms in this article to get a guaranteed-great first condom. Or, browse hundreds more condoms here.
Want to level up your condom skills even more? Read our Condoms 101 guide to learn loads about condom styles, sizes, safety, and more.