Anal Sex 101: Everything You Need to Know

Anal Sex 101: Everything You Need to Know

17 minute read

Anal sex. The final frontier of the sexual universe. You’ve docked your ship in many a port before. And now, you’re ready to venture into deep space in search of unknown pleasures.

Those with vaginas can expect planet-quaking anal orgasms and A-spot stimulation. Those with prostates can experience the supernova of all orgasms—the prostate O.

Or, if you’re on the giving end of anal, you’ll enjoy a new world of sensation in the back door.

But anal sex isn’t without risks and quirks.

Rushing in too soon can be very painful, and unprotected anal sex leaves you vulnerable to STIs. Not to mention, having anal sex at the wrong time might result in messy bedsheets (yep, we’re talking about poop).

Before you explore the dark side of your moon (or your partner’s), there are a few things you’ve got to know.

In this article, we’ll tell you everything you need to know about anal sex so you can go from a butt-stuff beginner to an anal astronaut in no time. You’ll learn:

Ready? Let’s dive….

Butt Sex Basics

Before you even THINK about probing your holiest of holies or your partner’s, you need to know a few basic facts about anal sex. We’ll give them to you now at warp speed so you can get to the good stuff sooner.

👉 Anal sex is penetrating or stimulating the anus with a penis, finger, tongue, or toy in pursuit of sexual gratification.

👉 Anal sex is a safe and enjoyable activity if done correctly.

👉 People have anal sex because it’s pleasurable. Yes, people of all genders and sexes can get sexual pleasure and even orgasm from anal sex.

👉 You should always wear a condom when having anal sex. STIs can be transmitted during unprotected anal sex just as quickly as they can during unprotected vaginal sex. Infections such as HIV transfer more easily during anal sex.

👉 You can’t get pregnant from anal sex. However, the back door is only about 1.5 inches from the front, so beware of leakage.

👉 Anal sex isn’t something you can do on a whim. It takes time to prepare your tunnel for incoming traffic (more on that below!).

The Top 3 Things You MUST Know about Anal Sex

We get it; you’re excited to blast off into unknown corners of the booty verse. But if you don’t read anything about anal sex, ensure you know these three key things.

1. Real Anal Sex isn’t Like Porn.

According to studies of the internet, pretty much all humanity does is watch porn. So it’s safe to assume that we’ve all seen a lot of butt sex. And for most of us, that bowm-chicka-wowow porno anal is the ONLY anal sex ed we’ve got in our lives.

And that’s bad. It’s very bad.

Because anal in porn is completely different from anal with a non-pornstar partner. Most buttholes cannot fit an entire Toyota Prius inside them.

And jackhammering one with your dong will leave your partner howling (not in a good way).

Real anal sex is slow and gentle. It starts with communication and lots of foreplay, and once penetration occurs, the intensity is determined just as much by the bottom as the top.

Anal is an intimate experience that brings partners together around mutual stimulation and pleasure.

As they say, there’s no “I” in anal.

In a way, this makes anal sex even more exciting. It’s not like the anal you’ve seen in porn. It’s something different and much better. But you’ll only get there if you take it to step by step.

2. Butts Don’t Self-Lubricate

If you’re on the receiving end of anal sex, it will quickly become apparent that your anus does not lubricate itself when you get turned on as a vagina does.

This is probably a good thing, or else we’d all have leaky buttholes every time we watched Henry Cavill in The Witcher.

Those with penises need to be conscious of the lack of natural butt lube because you can hurt your partner without lube.

Apply copious amounts of lubricant before and during anal sex. Ask your partner often if you should reapply, just in case they start to feel uncomfortable friction.

Also, use anal lube during anal sex. Regular water-based lube is ok, but it doesn’t last as long as anal lubes made from oil or silicone. Check our Pjur Lube for some amazing options.

These extra-slick anal lubricants will protect both partners and maximize pleasure.

Here are a few of our favorite anal lubricants:

Boy Butter Original Lubricant with Coconut Oil

Boy Butter Original Lubricant with Coconut Oil

$10.99 $14.00

Boy Butter Original Lubricant Boy Butter Original is an oil-based lubricant consisting of two powerful yet gentle ingredients: coconut oil and an organic silicone blend.     The ingredients are homogenized like real butter. The result is a personal lubricant… Read More

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Pink Silicone Personal Lubricant

Pink Silicone Personal Lubricant

$15.99 $19.99

Pink Silicone Intimate Lubricant Pink Silicone blend is your perfect gateway for pleasures to come. Pink Silicone Intimate Lubricant is Pink's most lubricating and long-lasting formula, so your time together can be both enthusiastic and comfortable. Unscented Silicone Based Hypoallergenic Water-Resistant Fortified… Read More

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Pjur Original BodyGlide Silicone Lubricant

Pjur Original BodyGlide Silicone Lubricant

$12.99 $18.99

Pjur Original Bodyglide Silicone Lubricant Pjur Original Bodyglide is the world's best-selling pure silicone lubricant for a good reason: it feels absolutely fantastic.     The super-concentrated formula doesn't wear out, and it never changes in texture or consistency. It's slippery, soft, and… Read More

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Note: Oil-based lube is not safe to use with condoms, as it can cause them to break. Silicone lube can degrade silicone toys.

Read our ultimate guide to sexual lubricant for the full scoop.

3. Hygiene is SUPER important

Butts are Butts. We don’t need to tell you all the stuff your butt is involved in daily. Some of it isn’t very glamorous.

During and after anal sex, it’s essential to be mindful of the bacteria that can potentially spread or it might cause infection and illness.

Here are a few hygiene tips:

👉 Wash all butts and everything going into or around those butts BEFORE having sex. If you don't have a fancy bidet at home, check out our selection of anal douches.

👉 Do the same as soon as you’ve finished, and try to pee too. This will help wash away any bacteria that might have got into your urethra or vagina.

👉 You never go from ass to mouth. Or from ass to vagina. If you choose to have anal sex, stick with it. Or, prepare to clean up well before switching holes.

👉 Use a condom during sex or fingering (yes, we sell FINGER CONDOMS!). You can also put a condom on a sex toy if you’re unsure how clean it is.

If you’re exploring with your tongue, consider a dental dam:

Harmony Latex Dental Dams

Harmony Latex Dental Dams

$12.99 $14.95

Harmony Latex Dental Dams Introducing Harmony Latex Dental Dams – the superheroes of safe and sassy oral adventures! At a sleek 6x10 inches, these dental dams are your trusty sidekick, ready to protect and serve in the world of pleasure.Why do our… Read More

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Harmony Non-Latex Dental Dams

Harmony Non-Latex Dental Dams

$15.99 $17.99

Harmony Polyisoprene (Non-Latex) Dental Dams Looking for a dental dam that's safe for everyone? Look no further than Harmony Polyisoprene Dental Dams! These innovative dams are made from a unique, non-latex material called polyisoprene, making them perfect for those with… Read More

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Trust Assorted Flavored Dental Dams

Trust Assorted Flavored Dental Dams

$15.99 $19.99

Assorted Flavored Trust Dental Dams Are you looking for a fun and safe way to protect yourself during oral encounters? Look no further than Trust Assorted Flavored Dental Dams! This pack includes five delicious flavors: Grape, Strawberry, Banana, Mint, and… Read More

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Top Condoms for Anal Sex

Here are a few condoms we recommend for going in the back door.

Trojan ENZ Lubricated Condoms

Trojan ENZ Lubricated Condoms

$5.99 $8.99

Trojan ENZ Lubricated Condoms Trojan ENZ lubricated condoms are made for every guy’s bedside table. They’re a classic condom with a comfy fit and premium lubrication. No bells and whistles—just a reliable condom at a great price. Form-fitting for Maximum… Read More

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Atlas Ultra-Lubed Condoms

Atlas Ultra-Lubed Condoms

$5.49 $6.99

Dive into the Silky Sensation: Atlas Ultra-Lubed Condoms Welcome, fearless pleasure-seekers, to the world of Atlas Ultra-Lubed Condoms – the love gloves that keep the party going with a silky smooth flair! If regular condoms are like the warm-up act,… Read More

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Kimono Microthin Plus Aqua Lube Condoms

Kimono Microthin Plus Aqua Lube Condoms

$3.99 $4.99

Kimono MicroThin Plus Aqua Lube Kimono MicroThin Plus Aqua Lube Condoms combine Kimono's popular MicroThin style with their water-based Aqua Lube lubricant. The resulting product is excellent for those looking for a more sensitive and natural condom.     The… Read More

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Tushy Training: Easing into Anal Sex

If you’re new to anal sex, it can be a bit scary. Especially if you're on the receiving end. Remember that anal sex takes time to get right. You can’t go from zero to anal hero in one night.

Follow these steps to get started on your anal adventure.

1. Use Your Tongues…to Communicate

Whether you’ve been with your partner for years or minutes, anal sex starts with good communication. Firstly, consent is 100% necessary no matter what you’ve done before.

Next, you need to know what your partner is comfortable with and how far they want to go.

Maybe they’re OK with a finger but not a penis. Maybe they enjoy one inch of penetration but not two.

Both partners should discuss their limits and desires.

But this doesn’t have to happen with a pad of paper and a lawyer present. It’s a good conversation to have during light foreplay.

2. Loosen up with Foreplay

There’s nothing like kicking back with a beer after a hard week at work and letting your sphincter chill out for the weekend.

That’s basically what foreplay is—transitioning from stressful life to a sexy time. When you’re stressed, your anus is tight and impenetrable.

When you relax, your muscles loosen up, and you become more receptive to feeling pleasure from anal stimulation.

Overall, it makes it easier to put something inside your butt. It helps you experience the pleasure of having your anal opening stimulated.

There are tons of nerve endings, but they won’t feel good unless you warm up with some foreplay.

3. Start with a Finger or a Toy

Now, it’s finally time to put something in there. If you’ve followed the first steps, you should be pretty excited.

If you haven’t had anal sex before, don’t start with a penis or anything penis-sized. It’s too girthy and will probably hurt.

Start with a pinky finger or a small butt plug. Lube up well before you put ANYTHING inside, and put a condom on your toy or finger.

After trying that, you might want to try a larger toy or two fingers. Or, you may decide to call it quits for the day. That’s totally fine.

You can’t get #swol after one day at the gym, and you can’t train your butthole to take a dick in a day, either.

You may need to do butt stuff 5, 10, or 100 times before working up to a penis or dildo. The good news is, that all anal play is fun. So why rush it?

Fun fact: Butt plug trainer kits are made to help you prepare for anal sex.


It may take weeks or months before you get to the point where you can comfortably enjoy anal sex. And when you get there, you should still go slowly.

Move slowly, thrust slowly, communicate, and enjoy every little sensation. The only reason you see people jackhammering when you watch porn is that slow sex isn’t as entertaining.

When you’re giving or receiving anal sex, taking it slow has a lot of advantages. Besides not hurting yourself or your partner, you’ll enjoy slow anal more.

The receiving partner will feel more stimulation around their anal opening, which feels really good and can contribute to orgasm.

Too much movement can risk overstimulation, which can be uncomfortable.

Tops with penises will get much more pleasure from going slowly too. This is because the anus isn’t snug like the vagina, so most of the sensation you’ll feel will be from the tight rectal opening.

Moving slowly in and out is much more tantalizing than thrusting quickly.

5. Find Your Pleasure Together

Once anal sex has officially begun, it’s not up to one partner to set the rhythm. It’s something you have to do together.

This can be a significant change from vaginal and oral sex, in which one partner usually dominates.

If you’re new to anal, the receiving partner should do all the moving, and the giving partner should stay relatively still.

This is because the giving partner may be tempted to thrust, resulting in pain. The receiving partner needs to ease into anal sex at their own pace.

This works best in cowgirl and doggy-style positions.

Once you have more experience, you can work together with your partner—the bottom pushing and gyrating, the top thrusting and twisting…there are plenty of ways to do it.

Try the missionary or spooning positions when you want to groove together.

Is Anal Sex Safe?

Anal sex is a bit like operating a forklift. If you know how to do it, it’s totally safe. If you don’t, you could do some severe damage.

Anal sex can be painful if you don’t do it right, which is why you always need to communicate and go slowly. But fortunately, injury is rare.

The most considerable risk surrounds infection. If you're not careful, STIs and bacteria from the rectum can cause discomfort and a hospital visit.

If you follow the steps in the previous section and take things slowly, you’ll be just fine. But even the anal sex pros need to remember a few health tips.

Here are a few essential things to remember to stay safe when having anal sex:

Wash before and after sex

Hygiene is key.

If you haven’t realized that yet (we’ve only mentioned it about 5 times).

You must be clean from top to bottom before dabbling in butt stuff. After the act, butt bacteria will be all over you (the ugly truth…), so wash up before you cuddle.

Staff Pick: Rooster Tail Cleaner

Keep LOTS of lube on hand

Start with lots of lube and continue to apply it throughout your tushy sesh.

A dry butthole isn’t pleasurable to anyone, and the receiving partner can suffer tears and anal fissures.

Staff Pick: Swiss Navy Silicone-Based Lube

Don’t mix vaginal/oral and anal sex.

Once you put a toy, tongue, or penis into the bootyhole, consider the mouth and vagina closed.

Switching holes is an easy way to get an infection.

Looking to add some oral fun? Try a Dental Dam.

Use a condom

Condoms will protect you from STI infection and butt bacteria.

Plus, they’re easy to lube up and slide in. There are loads of advantages to wearing a condom during anal sex.

You can't go wrong with a Crown Skinless Skin condom.

Go to the bathroom after

If any bacteria makes it into the urethra or vagina during anal (likely), taking a pee afterward can help wash it out and prevent infection.

Avoid numbing lubricant if you’re a beginner.

Numbing lube is popular for anal sex but can prevent you from feeling when you’ve reached your limits.

When you’re better acquainted with your butt, grab some anal relaxing lube here.

Until then, stick with classic anal lube:

GUN OIL Silicone Lubricant

GUN OIL Silicone Lubricant

$20.99 $22.99

Gun Oil Silicone Lubricant Attention, private! At ease. Designed to meet the needs of the most hardcore bedroom soldiers, Gun Oil Silicone provides slick, long-lasting lubrication thanks to its proprietary three-molecule silicone blend. You won't find a lube with the same texture… Read More

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Stop if you feel pain.

Pain is your body’s way of telling you something isn’t right. No matter how much you want to please your partner or become an anal sex god, stop if you feel pain.

If you stop, you can try again later or the next day. If you try to power through it, you might get hurt.

Be careful with one-nighters.

Having anal sex during a one-night stand is asking for trouble. You probably aren’t great at communicating and don’t know each other’s boundaries.

If you want anal sex, do it with an SO or a solid friend w/ benefits.

Poops and Farts

One of the biggest fears about anal sex is pooping everywhere or getting pooped on.

They also aren’t crazy about the idea of blasting farts during an intimate sexual experience.

So, will you poop during anal sex?

Not really. But a little bit sometimes. And maybe sometimes a lot. But more than likely, no.

The truth is, when you’re plumbing the depths of your poop pipe, something might come out. If you’re into anal sex, you’d better be cool with that.

Put some towels down just to be safe, and if a bit of poop pops up, be compassionate and don't make your partner feel embarrassed or insecure.

After all, it’s just a little poop. You can’t expect to go to the swimming hole without getting wet.

If you’re on the receiving end of anal, you should be fine if you’ve already pooped that day (unless it’s Thanksgiving).

Poop isn’t stored near the anal opening. It’s actually held further back in the intestine, so putting stuff in your butt won’t cause a poopsplosion unless you’ve already got the urge to go.

If it isn’t apparent, don’t have anal sex if you feel like you have to poop or have had diarrhea recently.

If you want to be extra safe, try to poop an hour before having sex.

What about the farts?

You will fart during and after anal sex if you’re the bottom. They won’t be smelly poop farts if it makes you feel better.

They’re just air that snuck inside during sex and is now escaping.

However, they may make the same glorious trumpet and rat-a-tat snare drum noises as normal farts. So that’s something to look forward to.

Anal Sex with Toys

Anal sex doesn’t have to involve penises or fingers.

In fact, it doesn’t even require another person. Anal play with sex toys expands the possibilities of what you can do with your bum.

Here are just a few perks:

Great for masturbation

Anal toys like suction cup dildos, vibrators, and remote-controlled massagers make solo play simple and sumptuous.

Try the B Swirl Vibrating Butt Plug or the DilDolls "Glitzy" Silicone Dildo With Suction Base.

B-Vibe Texture Vibrating Butt Plug Swirl - Orange (Medium)

B-Vibe Texture Vibrating Butt Plug Swirl - Orange (Medium)

$83.25 $92.50

B-Vibe Texture Vibrating Butt Plug Swirl  The Swirl Texture Plug elevates the idea of a spiraled butt plug to the next level. With its rope-like features, this medium vibrating butt plug creates tugging and twisting sensations coveted by anal enthusiasts.… Read More

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DilDolls "Glitzy" Silicone Dildo with Suction Base



"Glitzy" Suction Cup Dildo Glitzy brings the bling to the bedroom with gorgeous glittery pink liquid silicone with a silky touch and an ergonomically curved design that provides comfortable insertion.  One of the more stylish of silicone dils, DilDolls by Love… Read More

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Safe for beginners

Want to train your tush before you switch to fingers or a penis?

Plenty of big and small toys to help you, with or without a partner.

Trainer kits are ready-made for easing you into ass play.

Control your own pleasure

Using a toy reduces the risk of an overzealous partner going a little further (or deeper) than you’d planned.

Experiment with different sensations

Anal toys come in various styles, including dildos, vibrators, butt plugs, anal beads, and more.

Each one excites your backside in different ways. You can find them all here.

Perfect for prostate massage

Toys designed to tickle the prostate can be much more effective and comfortable than fingers or a dildo, especially during masturbation.

A remote-controlled toy like the LELO Hugo is the cream of the crop.

LELO Hugo Premium Vibrating Prostate Massager - Black

LELO Hugo Premium Vibrating Prostate Massager - Black


Hugo is a remote-controlled prostate massager that represents an entirely new way to think of men’s pleasure, whether it is part of coupled or solo play. With the potential to increase the size and intensity of the male climax by… Read More

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Anal Sex: A New World of Intimacy

For some (especially those with penises), anal sex might seem like another place to fool around.

But it’s important to remember that anal sex is an entirely new world of intercourse.

It must be treated with caution, respect, and excitement as vaginal sex.

Like other forms of sex, it takes time to get good at anal sex. And it takes time to learn to enjoy it.

It’s ok if you feel nervous or scared about it, and if you don’t feel like it’s for you, you can skip it entirely. There are plenty of other fun things to do in the bedroom!

If you choose anal sex, remember to follow the steps in this article and know the risks. Here’s a quick recap of the essential points we covered above:

👉 Anal sex is penetrating or stimulating the anus for sexual gratification. This can be done with fingers, tongues, a penis, or toys

👉 Anal sex can result in orgasm for those with penises and vaginas

👉 If done correctly, anal sex is a totally safe and usual way to enjoy your body

👉 Communication is key to good anal—before, during, and after

👉 Use lots of lube and wear a condom when having anal sex

👉 It might take weeks or months to get comfortable having anal sex. Take your time and go slowly.

👉 Wash your naughty bits and any other part of you that came into contact with a butt. Do this before and after sex to avoid infection.

👉 Lay down some towels before the act—a little bit of poop is a possibility

👉 Anal sex toys are a great way to experiment with anal play is your #1 resource online for all things anal. You'll find them here if you’re looking for anal sex lube, condoms, or anal sex toys.

100% of our stock is medically tested and/or approved by the FDA and NHS for your safety. And we’ve got loads more fun and educational resources like this article when you’re ready to learn more!

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