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Anal sex. The final frontier of the sexual universe. You’ve docked your ship in many a port before. And now, you’re ready to venture into deep space in search of unknown pleasures.
Those with vaginas can expect planet-quaking anal orgasms and A-spot stimulation. Those with prostates can experience the supernova of all orgasms—the prostate O. Or, if you’re on the giving end of anal, you’ll enjoy a new world of sensation in the back door.
But anal sex isn’t without risks. Rushing in too soon can be painful, and unprotected anal sex leaves you vulnerable to STIs. Not to mention, having anal sex at the wrong time might result in messy bedsheets (yep, we’re talking about poop).
Before you explore the dark side of your moon (or your partner’s), there are a few things you’ve got to know.
In this article, we’re going to tell you everything you need to know about anal sex so you can go from a butt-stuff beginner to an anal astronaut in no time.
Ready? Let’s dive….
Butt Sex Basics
Before you even THINK about probing your holiest of holies or your partner’s, you need to know a few basic facts about anal sex.
👉 Anal sex is penetrating or stimulating the anus with a penis, finger, tongue, or toy.
👉 Anal sex is a safe and enjoyable activity if done correctly.
👉 People have anal sex because it’s pleasurable. Yes, people of all genders and sexes can get sexual pleasure and even orgasm from anal sex.
👉 You should always wear a condom when having anal sex. STIs can be transmitted during unprotected anal sex just as quickly as they can during unprotected vaginal sex. Infections such as HIV transfer more easily during anal sex.
👉 You should always use sex lubricant when having anal sex. Butts don't lubricate so you need add plenty of lube. Learn more about our recommended anal lubes here.
👉 You can’t get pregnant from anal sex. However, the back door is only about 1.5 inches from the front, so beware of leakage.
👉 Anal sex isn’t something you can do on a whim. It takes time to prepare your tunnel for incoming traffic (more on that below!).
The Top 3 Things You MUST Know about Anal Sex
We get it; you’re excited to blast off into unknown corners of the booty verse. But before you do, make sure you know these three key things.
1. Real Anal Sex isn’t Like Porn.
According to studies, pretty much all humans do is watch porn. So it’s safe to assume that we’ve all seen a lot of butt sex. And for most of us, that bowm-chicka-wowow porno anal is the ONLY anal sex ed we’ve got in our lives.
And that’s bad.
Anal sex in porn is completely different from anal with a non-pornstar partner. Most buttholes cannot fit an entire Toyota Prius inside them. And jackhammering one with your dong will leave your partner howling (not in a good way).
Real anal sex is slow and gentle. It starts with communication and lots of foreplay, and once penetration occurs, the intensity is determined just as much by the bottom as the top. Anal is an intimate experience that brings partners together around mutual stimulation and pleasure.
As they say, there’s no “I” in anal.
In a way, this makes anal sex even more exciting. It’s not like the anal you’ve seen in porn. It’s something different and much better. But you’ll only get there if you take it step by step.
2. Butts Don’t Self-Lubricate
Your anus does not lubricate itself when you get turned on, as a vagina does. This is probably a good thing, or else we’d all have leaky buttholes every time we watched anything starring Hugh Jackman..
Those with penises need to be super conscious of the lack of natural butt lube because, without lube, you can hurt your partner.
Apply copious amounts of lubricant before and during anal sex. Ask your partner often if you should reapply, just in case they start to feel uncomfortable.
Use silicone lube or oil-based lube during anal sex. ater-based lube is ok, but it doesn’t last as long as lubes made from oil or silicone. These extra-slick anal lubricants will protect both partners and maximize the pleasure.
Here are a few of our favorite anal lubricants:
Oil-based lube: Boy Butter Original
Boy Butter Original Lubricant with Coconut Oil
$10.99
$14.00
Boy Butter Original Lubricant Boy Butter Original is an oil-based lubricant consisting of two powerful yet gentle ingredients: coconut oil and an organic silicone blend. The ingredients are homogenized like real butter. The result is a personal lubricant… Read More
Silicone lube: Gun Oil
-
GUN OIL Silicone Lubricant
$20.99
$22.99Gun Oil Silicone Lubricant Attention, private! At ease. Designed to meet the needs of the most hardcore bedroom soldiers, Gun Oil Silicone provides slick, long-lasting lubrication thanks to its proprietary three-molecule silicone blend. You won't find a lube with the same texture… Read More
Hybrid lube (water + silicone): Sliquid Silk
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Sliquid SILK Non-Staining Silicone & Water-Based Lubricant
$8.99
$13.99Sliquid Silk Non-Staining Silicone & Water Lubricant Sliquid Naturals Silk Lubricant is a unique blend of H2O water-based lubricant, 12% silicone, and creamy emollient esters for an even longer-lasting lubricant. Unlike pure silicone lubricants, this formula is non-staining. Sugar-free (glycerin and glycol),… Read More
Note: Oil-based lube is not safe to use with condoms, as it can cause them to break. Silicone lube can degrade silicone toys. Read our ultimate guide to sexual lubricant for the full scoop.
3. Hygiene is SUPER important
We don’t need to tell you all the stuff your butt is involved in on a daily basis. Some of it isn’t very glamorous. During and after anal sex, it’s important to be mindful of the bacteria that can potentially cause infection and illness.
Here are a few hygiene tips:
👉 Wash all butts and everything going into or around those butts BEFORE having sex.
👉 Do the same as soon as you’ve finished, and try to pee too. This will help wash away any bacteria that might have gotten into your urethra or vagina.
👉 You never go from ass to mouth. Or, from ass to vagina. If you want to switch holes, clean up good before switching. Or, wear a condom and switch condoms before going from ass to vagina (or vice versa).
👉 Use a condom during sex and finger condoms for anal fingering. Put a condom on a sex toy if you’re not sure how clean it is.
If you’re exploring with your tongue, consider a dental dam:
Harmony Latex Dental Dams
$12.99
$14.95
Harmony Latex Dental Dams Introducing Harmony Latex Dental Dams – the superheroes of safe and sassy oral adventures! At a sleek 6x10 inches, these dental dams are your trusty sidekick, ready to protect and serve in the world of pleasure.Why do our… Read More
Harmony Non-Latex Dental Dams
$15.99
$17.99
Harmony Polyisoprene (Non-Latex) Dental Dams Looking for a dental dam that's safe for everyone? Look no further than Harmony Polyisoprene Dental Dams! These innovative dams are made from a unique, non-latex material called polyisoprene, making them perfect for those with… Read More
Trust Assorted Flavored Dental Dams
$15.99
$19.99
Assorted Flavored Trust Dental Dams Are you looking for a fun and safe way to protect yourself during oral encounters? Look no further than Trust Assorted Flavored Dental Dams! This pack includes five delicious flavors: Grape, Strawberry, Banana, Mint, and… Read More
Top Condoms for Anal Sex
Here are a few condoms we recommend for going in the back door.
Ultra-thin: Trojan BareSkin Raw
Trojan Bareskin Raw Ultra-Thin Condoms
$3.99
$6.99
Trojan Bareskin Raw Condoms If you want to get closer, look no further. This is America’s thinnest latex condom. In our latest innovation, we pulled out all the stops to bring you BareSkin™ Raw™. New from Trojan™, the thinnest condom… Read More
Extra lube: SKYN Elite Extra Lube (non-latex)
LifeStyles SKYN Elite Extra Lubricated Condoms (Latex-Free)
$9.99
$11.99
An Extra Lubricated Non-Latex Condom Sometimes you want a little something EXTRA. And we understand that – try this condom with extra lubrication that makes everything feel a lot better. SKYN Elite Extra Lubricated Premium Condoms are made with SKYNFEEL®… Read More
Ultra-thin and premium lube: Kimono MicroThin Plus
Kimono Microthin Plus Aqua Lube Condoms
$3.99
$4.99
Kimono MicroThin Plus Aqua Lube Kimono MicroThin Plus Aqua Lube Condoms combine Kimono's popular MicroThin style with their water-based Aqua Lube lubricant. The resulting product is excellent for those looking for a more sensitive and natural condom. The… Read More
Extra lube: Atlas Ultra-lubed Condoms
Atlas Ultra-Lubed Condoms
$5.49
$6.99
Dive into the Silky Sensation: Atlas Ultra-Lubed Condoms Welcome, fearless pleasure-seekers, to the world of Atlas Ultra-Lubed Condoms – the love gloves that keep the party going with a silky smooth flair! If regular condoms are like the warm-up act,… Read More
Silicone lube: Caliber Condoms
Caliber L - Large Condoms (57mm Wide)
$25.00
Caliber Condoms– Because One Size Doesn’t Fit All! 😏 Let’s be real—if your condom isn’t the right size, it’s not doing its job. That’s why we ditched the “one-size-fits-all” myth and created six different sizes for a perfect fit, every… Read More
If you’re new to anal sex, it can be a bit scary—especially if you're on the receiving end. Remember that anal sex takes time to get right.
Follow these steps to get started on your anal adventure.
1. Use Your Tongues…to Communicate
Whether you’ve been with your partner for years or minutes, anal sex starts with good communication. Consent is 100% necessary, no matter what you’ve done before.
Next, you need to know what your partner is comfortable with and how far they’d like to go. Maybe they’re fine with a finger but not a penis. Maybe they are ok starting with one inch of penetration, but not two.
Both partners should discuss their limits and desires. It’s a good conversation to have during light foreplay.
2. Loosen up with Foreplay
On the whole, foreplay makes it easier to put something inside your butt.. There are tons of nerve endings there, but they won’t feel good unless you warm up.
When you’re stressed, your anus is tight and impenetrable. With some foreplay, your muscles loosen up, and you become more receptive to anal stimulation.
You don’t need to do anything special during foreplay, initially. Start with kissing, touching, hand stuff—whatever gets your blood pumping.
Then, consider adding some anal stimulation by gently rubbing the anal opening (with lubricated fingers) or by stimulating the area above the clothes.
3. Start with a Finger or a Toy
If you haven’t had anal sex before, don’t start with a penis or anything penis-sized. It’s too girthy and will probably hurt. Start with a pinky finger or a small butt plug. This will help relax those butt muscles and prepare you for anal sex.
After trying that, you might want to try a larger toy or two fingers. Or, you may be ready to start having anal sex.
You may also decide to call it quits for the day. That’s totally fine. You can’t get #swol after one day at the gym, and you can’t train your butthole to take a dick in a day either.
You may need to do butt stuff 5, 10, or 100 times before you work your way up to a penis or dildo. The good news is, all anal play is fun. So why rush it?
Fun fact: Anal training kits contain butt plugs of varying sizes to help you prepare for anal sex.
4. Go SLOWLY
When you’re ready to begin the main event, go SLOWLY.
First, add lots of lube to all butts and penises involved. The top partner should penetrate slowly and communicate as they push deeper, making sure the bottom is ok to continue.
Remember that most penises are thickest around the middle or base of the shaft. This means the bottom may be able to handle the top of the penis, but not the middle.
If the bottom feels pain at any point, don’t push further. Take a step back and enjoy the level you’ve reached. With practice, you’ll be able to do more soon.
Even when you’re able to have more comfortable butt sex, taking it slow has a lot of advantages.
The bottom partner feels more stimulation around their anal opening, which feels really good and can contribute to orgasm.
The top will feel more pleasure by going slowly too. The anus isn’t snug like the vagina, so most of the sensation comes from the tight rectal opening. Moving slowly in and out is often more tantalizing than thrusting quickly.
5. Find Your Pleasure Together
Getting good at anal sex is about working together with your partner to determine your ideal rhythm. This is different from vaginal and oral sex, where one partner usually takes a dominant role.
If you’re new to anal, the bottom partner should do all the moving, and the top should stay relatively still. This is because the top may be tempted to thrust, which could result in pain. The bottom needs to be able to ease into anal sex at their own pace. This works best in cowgirl and doggy style positions.
Once you have a bit more experience, you can try new movements and positions—the bottom pushing and gyrating, the top thrusting…there are plenty of ways to do it. Try the missionary position or a spooning position when you want to groove together.
Is Anal Sex Safe?
Anal sex is a bit like operating a forklift. If you know how to do it, it’s totally safe. If you don’t, you could do some serious damage.
Anal sex can be painful if you don’t do it right, which is why you always need to communicate and go slowly. But fortunately, injury is rare.
The biggest risk is infection. Anal sex is more likely to transmit certain STIs than vaginal sex.
Small tears in rectal tissue can expose both partners to STIs. This is why it’s so important not to ignore pain or discomfort. Bacteria from the rectum can also cause infection if it gets into the urethra or vagina.
Using a condom goes a long way toward preventing these infections.
Here are a few important things to remember to stay safe when having anal sex:
Wash before and after sex
Hygiene is key.
You need to be clean from top to bottom before you start dabbling in butt stuff. After the act, butt bacteria will be all over you (the ugly truth…), so wash up before you cuddle.
Keep LOTS of lube on hand
Apply lots of lube and reapply it throughout your tushy sesh. A dry butthole isn’t pleasurable to anyone, and the bottom partner can suffer tears and anal fissures as a result.
Don’t mix vaginal/oral and anal sex.
Once you put a toy, tongue, or penis into the bootyhole, consider the mouth and vagina closed. Switching holes is an easy way to get an infection. If you want to switch, wear a condom and replace it with a fresh one each time you switch holes.
Use a condom
Condoms will protect you from STI infection and butt bacteria. Plus, they’re easy to lube up and slide in. Condoms make anal sex BETTER.
Go to the bathroom after
If any bacteria makes it into the urethra or vagina during anal sex (which is likely), taking a pee afterward can help wash it out and prevent infection.
Avoid numbing lubricant if you’re a beginner.
Numbing lube is popular for anal sex, but it can prevent you from feeling when you’ve reached your limits. When you’re better acquainted with your butt, grab some desensitizing lube here. Until then, stick with classic anal lube.
Stop if you feel pain.
Pain is your body’s way of telling you something isn’t right. No matter how much you want to please your partner or become an anal sex god, stop if you feel pain.
If you stop, you can try again later or the next day. If you try to power through it, you might get hurt.
Be careful with one-nighters.
Having anal sex during a one-night stand is asking for trouble. You probably aren’t great at communicating, and you don’t know each other’s boundaries.
If you want to have anal sex, do it with someone you trust.
One of the biggest fears people have about anal sex is the possibility of pooping everywhere or getting pooped on. They also aren’t crazy about the idea of blasting farts during an intimate sexual experience.
So, will you poop during anal sex?
Not really.
But a little bit sometimes. And maybe sometimes a lot. But more than likely, no.
The truth is, when you’re plumbing the depths of your poop pipe, something might come out. If you’re into anal sex, you’d better be cool with that. Put some towels down just to be safe, and if a little poop pops up, be compassionate and don't make your partner feel embarrassed or insecure. After all, it’s just a little poop. You can’t expect to go to the swimming hole without getting wet.
If you’re on the receiving end of anal, you should be fine if you’ve already pooped that day (unless it’s Thanksgiving). Poop isn’t stored near the anal opening. It’s held further back in the intestine, so putting stuff in your butt won’t cause a poopsplosion unless you’ve already got the urge to go.
Don’t have anal sex if you feel like you have to poop or if you’ve had diarrhea recently.
If you want to be extra safe, try to poop an hour before having anal sex.
What about the farts?
You will almost definitely fart during and after anal sex if you’re the bottom. If it makes you feel better, they won’t be smelly poop farts. They’re just air that snuck inside during sex and is now escaping.
However, they may make the same glorious trumpet noises, as farts do. So, that’s something to look forward to.
Anal Sex Toys
Anal sex doesn’t have to involve penises or fingers. In fact, it doesn’t even require another person. Anal sex toys expand the possibilities of what you can do with your bum.
There are a bunch of anal sex toys to choose from, including:
These toys are designed to stimulate the pleasure zones in and around your butt, such as the anal opening and the P-spot in men (sometimes called the male G-spot). They’re fun to use solo or with a partner.
Below, we’ll give you a brief intro to anal sex toys and recommend some of our favorites.
Why Use Anal Sex Toys?
Anal sex isn’t just satisfying for the top. The butt is full of nerve endings, making it a highly sensitive and pleasurable area. In men, anal play can stimulate the prostate (the “P-spot”), while in women, anal penetration can indirectly stimulate the G-spot through the shared wall between the rectum and vagina.
It’s very possible to orgasm from anal stimulation, which is why so many people love anal sex. It’s not just pleasing for penis-havers!
Anal sex toys allow you to explore these pleasure zones with more control and comfort.
For beginners, they can help you ease into anal play by gently stretching and relaxing the muscles. For experienced users, toys can trigger deeper sensations and stronger orgasms.
Here are a few more perks of using anal sex toys:
🍑 Great for masturbation
Anal toys allow you to enjoy anal stimulation alone. Combine some anal pleaure with your normal masturbation routine to unlock new sensations and bigger O’s.
🍑 Safe for beginners
Want to train your tush before you switch to fingers or a penis? There are plenty of big and small toys to help you, whether you’re playing with or without a partner. Anal training kits are ready-made for easing you into ass play.
🍑 Control your own pleasure
When you use a toy, you have total control over the speed and intensity of penetration. This is espeically important if you’re still learning your boundaries.
🍑 Experiment with different sensations
Anal toys come in all sorts of styles, including dildos, vibrators, butt plugs, anal beads, and more. Each one excites your backside in different ways.
🍑 Perfect for prostate massage
Prostate massagers are designed to stimulate the P-spot in people with penises. They are much more effective and comfortable than using fingers or a dildo, especially during masturbation. Remote-controlled massagers like the Aneros Vice 2 are especially convenient.
Aneros Vice 2 Vibrating Prostate Massager
$97.50
$107.99
Meet the Aneros Vice 2—the kind of toy that doesn’t just show up, it steals the whole show. This sleek prostate massager takes everything you love about Aneros and cranks it up with an extra hit of vibration. Hands-free fun… Read More
Top Anal Sex Toys for Beginners
The following anal sex toys are some of our favorites. They’ll help you learn to explore your butt with more confidence while delivering serious pleasure. We recommend using these toys alone at first. Once you get comfortable with your boundaries, ask your partner to join the fun.
Butt Plugs
B-vibe Anal Training Set of 3 Butt Plugs
Pipedream Icicles Glass Butt Plug
Lovense Hush 2 Small Butt Plug
Dildos/Probes
Rock Bottom Bendies Ecsta-Flex Probe
Le Wand Stainless Steel Hoop G-spot and Prostate Massager
DilDolls Silicone Suction Cup Dildo
Avant D9 Ergo MINI Silicone Dildo
Vibrators
B-vibe Anal Massage and Education Set
Femme Fun PLUA Vibrating Remote Control Butt Plug
SVAKOM Jordan Vibrating Anal Stimulator
Satisfyer Backdoor Love Anal Vibrator
Prostate Massagers
Lovense Edge 2 Prostate Massager
LELO Loki Wave 2 Prostate Massager
Aneros Vice 2 Vibrating Prostate Massager
Anal Beads
Wearable Silicone Beads/Butt Plug
VeDO Quaker Vibrating Anal Beads
The Bottom Line on Anal Sex
For many, anal sex and butt play, even with toys, can seem taboo. But just like penises and vaginas, your butt is a part of your body. It’s YOURS to explore and enjoy.
Just remember that anal sex isn’t as simple as sticking it in and thrusting. It’s an entirely new world of intercourse. You need to treat it differently than vaginal sex in terms of preparation, hygeine, and safety.
Anal sex has the potential to be incredibly satisfying. But it can also result in injury or infection if you aren’t careful.
It takes time to get good at anal sex—so be patient with yourself and your partner. It’s also ok to feel nervous or scared about it. And, if you don’t feel like it’s for you, you can skip it entirely. There are plenty of other fun things to do in the bedroom!
If you choose to have anal sex, remember to follow the advice in this article. Here’s a quick recap of the important points covered above:
👉 Anal sex happens when you stimulate the anus for sexual gratification. This can be done with fingers, tongues, a penis, or toys
👉 Anal sex can result in orgasm for those with penises and vaginas
👉 If done correctly, anal sex is a totally safe and normal way to enjoy your body
👉 Communication is key to good anal—before, during, and after
👉 Use lots of lube and wear a condom when having anal sex
👉 It might take a while to get comfortable having anal sex. Take your time and go slowly
👉 Wash your hands, toys, butts, and genitals before and after anal sex to avoid spreading bacteria
👉 Lay down some towels before the act—a little bit of poop is a possibility
👉 Anal sex toys are a great way to experiment with anal play, solo or with a partner
Butt Seriously: Condomania Has Your Anal Sex Needs Plugged
Condomania is your #1 resource online for all things anal. We’ve been preaching about anal sex health and safety for over 30 years. We work only with trusted manufacturers to bring you the best anal sex lube, condoms, and anal sex toys available today.
100% of our products are medically tested for your safety, and all condoms are approved by the FDA for safe sex. We also carry ONE Condoms, the first-ever condoms approved by the FDA specifically for safe anal sex.
When you shop at Condomania, you also get:
FREE shipping on orders over $49
FREE discreet billing and shipping
FREE sexy surprises with your order
HUGE savings on anal sex toys, lube, condoms, and more
Start your anal adventure now at Condomania!
Are you ready to explore more butt stuff? Read more about anal sex lubricants in our complete guide here. The lube you choose can make or break your anal experience!
Or, if you’re ready to do the deed, read about how to prepare for safe and sexy butt play here. It goes DEEP on hygiene, safety, positions, and more.
FAQs
Is anal sex safe?
Absolutely—if you do it right! Using plenty of lube, going slowly, and communicating with your partner reduces the risk of pain or injury. Don’t forget to use condoms to prevent STIs and keep hygiene top of mind before and after the act.
Will I poop during anal sex?
Probably not! Most poop is stored further up in your intestines, so as long as you’ve had a bowel movement earlier in the day, you should be fine. To feel extra confident, you can douche beforehand or lay down towels—just in case.
Does anal sex hurt?
It doesn’t have to! With proper preparation—like relaxing during foreplay, starting small (fingers or toys), and using lots of lube—you can ease into anal sex comfortably. Pain is a sign to slow down, use more lube, or stop altogether.
How can I prepare for anal sex?
Communication is key! Discuss boundaries with your partner and make sure you both feel ready. Relax with foreplay, start small with fingers or plugs, and always use lube. Hygiene is also crucial—clean up beforehand and wash after to avoid infections.
Can I get pregnant from anal sex?
Nope! Sperm can’t travel from the anus to the uterus. But since the anus and vagina are close neighbors, be cautious about leakage and always use condoms to prevent infections.