Call me old-fashioned. Like with my car, I always figured that if my sex-life needed lube, I would know it, and then I could deal with that. Go buy the right kind, figure out where it goes (I know, I know...), and then whatever problem there would be fixed. Low oil? Add oil. Seems simple, and if everything is running okay, then it doesn't need anything, right?
Recently, though, someone said the magic words, just when my mind was open to new ideas, and I could suddenly see so much new possibility. What were the magic words, you ask? Simply this: "What kind of lube do we want tonight, Honey?" My first reaction and I'm glad I didn't say it out loud, was, we don't need lube. Something about the question, and that look in her eye, made me pause, though, and I realized my partner hadn't said "need." She had said, "want."
My second reaction was, why would we want it if we don't need it? Then, like a light bulb going on, I realized that needing a lube may be the case sometimes, but that's only part of the story.
Whether you need it or not, wanting a personal lubricant must mean they add something to the experience, something worth that extra few seconds after the clothes start flying, something worth a little bit of research and shopping. That was the first thing I didn’t know, that lubricants are often not a need but a want.
Once I uncovered the key information that personal lubricants would provide more pleasure for my partner and me, they are for so much more than simply making everything slippery.
I felt quite grateful for how she had introduced the idea so casually. In fact, her subtle message was so brilliantly placed that I was off and running with the need for more information.
The extra bit of pause, wonder, and research has paid off tenfold. I now not only appreciate this new enlightened understanding of designer lubes, but I also feel I am a bit of a connoisseur. That’s the second thing I didn’t know, that there’s a whole world of variety out there to try, not just that one we grew up hearing about.
A key component for me and my partner to enjoy any sort of personal lube product would be that it is latex safe, as condoms are a non-negotiated factor in our sex life. I knew that was a great starting point, and I know we are not alone in this requirement.
The good news is that many lubricants are safe to use with condoms, so you don’t have to make do with whatever lube is included with your condoms.
We first tried Pink Hot Gentle Warming Lubricant. I was not paying attention to the FULL title when I purchased it. The “warming” component had somehow not really sunk in. That is until our first go at this new adventure in lube land. Warming has now become one of my favorite words and the third thing I didn’t know.
We were delighted to discover that there exists a variety pack, where you can, with one simple order, receive a great selection of various brands to try. My partner was deeply touched that I chose the Women's Lubricant Sampler Pack, so she could be the one to pick and choose which to try during our quest for delight and desire.
Adding to our adventure, she came up with the fun idea of turning it into a game, where she picked which one from a bowl while blindfolded... One other that we’ve tried would be my pick for a romantic getaway; for a couple of reasons, Sliquid Organics Sensations is all-natural, very down-to-earth, just the right touch to go with soft candlelight, sweet-hot music turned down low, and rose-petals on the comforter.
It’s water-based, goes on cool but warms up very nicely with friction, and the combination of vitamin E, aloe, flax, and other special ingredients is actually something you won’t be hurrying to wash off. This is the one I would pack for that special weekend if we were traveling light.
The fourth great discovery for me was that whatever lubricates the outside of our condom can still be very, very pleasing to my partner, even if it’s not something I want on my own sensitive parts. Wet Wow Clitoral Arousal Gel is a magic ingredient for us now.
At first, we tried it on my bare head, and it was honestly too much for me, but on the outside of our condom, it works wonders on her clitoris, and everywhere else it goes, while I’m safe inside the latex, enjoying her pleasure.
The scent of Wet Wow is like peppermint, which we’ve grown to love lately. Of course, any of these are great to use with your hands or toys; I guess I should point that out.
One more warming lubricant I am so glad we tried is Pjur Myglide Stimulating Lubricant. This is water-based, also designed for female pleasure, and my partner describes it as “hard to describe, somewhere between complex and OMG!” All I know is that it feels great to both of us, and choosing that one from our bedside drawer is always a winning move for me. That’s the fifth great thing that I am so glad I learned, by the way.
Complicated is okay sometimes. I don’t have to understand it, but if it works, and makes my partner even happier with our shared pleasure, then I’m happier too. Back to my car comparison, I guess it turns out that personal lubricant is more like wax and polish for your car than a trip to the garage. You don’t do it because you have to, but because you want to, and the ride is so much more pleasurable because of it!