Adding sex toys to the bedroom is a great way to spice up your love life with a partner. A toy collection can add dozens of new sensations to foreplay and sex, opening doors to fresh and exciting pleasures.
But getting a toy into bed with a partner is tricky. It can be awkward to talk about sex, and many people feel inadequate when their partner suggests adding a toy into the mix. But it doesn’t have to be that way.
Good communication and patience are all it takes to introduce sex toys into your relationship and make them a regular and enjoyable part of sex.
We’ll tell you exactly how to do it below and recommend some of the best sex toys for couples just starting their sex toy journey.
The Best Sex Toys for Couples
These toys were designed with both you and your partner in mind. Sex toys for couples can bring you closer together in the bedroom and deliver bed-shaking moments of simultaneous satisfaction 😍.
Fun Factory 'Be One' Rechargeable Waterproof Finger Vibrator for Couples
$69.99
Be One Finger Vibrator for Couples The Be One delivers effortless vibration with every touch. It has two strong motors that bounce vibration off each other, heightening the couple's every caress. Choose from four speeds and one "randomized" setting that changes every… Read More
Gläs Mr. Swirly 10" Glass Double Ended Dildo & Butt Plug
$29.99
$32.99
Mr. Swirly 10" Glass Double Ended Dildo & Butt Plug Enjoy unique sensations from this 10 inches swirly beauty. Featuring two ends for incredible internal stimulation, Mr. Swirly has two pointed tips for easy entry. One end of… Read More
Hot Octopuss Pulse 3 Duo - Couple Vibrator
$149.00
Foreplay like youve never experienced before. Worn by him, enjoyed by both, PULSE DUO delivers intense hands-free fun, turning foreplay into the main event.While one partner enjoys the stimulation provided by the powerful PulsePlate, the other can seek delight in… Read More
Pillo by Dame Firm Wedge Sex Pillow with Removable Cover
$95.00
Sex Pillow Wedge with Removable Cover Pillo is a soft-yet-firm wedge that supports one in a variety of sex positions, allowing you to find all the perfect angles. This stylish pillow easily blends into the bedroom or office by day and helps you reach… Read More
Understanding Your Partner: Why Are People Reluctant to Use Sex Toys?
If it’s your idea to introduce sex toys into your relationship, you’re probably rearing to hop down the rabbit hole and have some kinky fun. Hold your horses there, cowboy/girl.
Your enthusiasm for trying sex toys may blind you to your partner’s potential objections.
Understanding your partner’s point of view and sympathizing with them is essential, or a sex toy suggestion could turn into a full-blown argument.
Here are a few reasons why your partner may be hesitant to use sex toys:
- They’ve never used a sex toy and think they are for nymphos
- They’ve used a sex toy and didn’t enjoy it
- They feel hurt because they think they’re “not enough” for you
- They think sex toys are only for solo play
- They’re not comfortable talking about sex
Some of these reasons may be frustrating, but they are all legitimate ways to feel. Never get angry at your partner for objecting to using sex toys, and don’t try to argue with them about how they feel.
These things take time. In the next step, you’ll learn how to ease into a healthy conversation about sex toys.
Ease in
The sex toy conversation probably won’t happen in just one attempt. You have to test the waters and ease in. It could take weeks or months to eventually have a healthy chat.
If your partner is eager to talk about it, then, by all means, start shopping for sex toys now and have a blast.
Others might be shocked or even offended when you bring up sex toys. And that’s ok!
Tell them that you respect how they feel. Make sure to show them lots of affection and thank them for hearing you out.
Whatever you do, DON’T force the conversation. You can return to it when the time is right (see the next step).
You can take the conversation a bit further if your partner is reluctant.
Tell them you’re interested in it, and discussing it is essential. Ask them if they would be ok talking about it again in the future.
These strategies will give your partner some time to mull it over. They might be much more receptive the next time you bring it up.
Time it right
Timing is everything. For example, it’s not a good idea to bring up trying a cock ring on the way to your in-laws’ place for dinner.
The best time to suggest trying a sex toy with a partner is when you’re both already in a sexy mood. If your partner is turned on, they’ll probably be more open to new ideas.
Try bringing it up during light foreplay or a post-sex cuddle.
If you don’t want to talk about it when you’re feeling hot and heavy, let your partner know when you want to talk.
You could say, “Hey, I want to talk about something important tonight. Would that be alright?” If they ask what you want to speak about, you can tell them it relates to your sex life.
This will allow your partner to mentally prepare for the convo.
Meet in the Middle
Now, your partner is ready to talk about sex toys. What do you say?
First, tell them about your wants and needs in the bedroom and explain why you think sex toys could be a part of that.
Your partner wants you to feel fulfilled sexually, so it is crucial to let them know your needs.
The first part is easy enough. The next one…not so much. People tend to make mistakes by talking about all the incredible sex toys their partner might love.
By doing this, you might think you’re helping your partner experience new pleasures. Still, you’re pushing your sex toy agenda and isolating your partner.
Instead, ask your partner about their needs in the bedroom. Eventually, you can ask if a sex toy could be a part of that.
You can also ask if your sex toy desires might interfere with their fulfillment in the bedroom. If they say yes, then you can talk about that. You’re on your way to the green light if they say no.
Avoid talking about specific types of sex toys. You can do that in the next step. Talk about each other, your desires and needs, and how you can grow sexually together.
This openness will send your partner a message: “It’s not really about sex toys—it’s about getting closer to you.”
Shop Together
Your sex toy experience with a partner is about both of you. If you surprise your partner with a briefcase of dildos, they may run for the hills.
Start by shopping for sex toys together. Browse different sex toy categories—your partner may not know just how many kinds of sex toys there are—and see what turns you both on.
Here’s a pro tip: Shop for sex toys in bed! It makes for great foreplay. And you can usually find product demonstrations for most types of sex toys on PornHub.
Shopping for sex toys can be an exciting sexcapade all its own.
Oh, and don’t forget sex lube.
Lube is a requirement for almost every sex toy. Without it, you might hear “ouch!” instead of “oh yes!”
We recommend a water-based lube because it’s safe to use with sex toys and condoms. Silicone-based lube is not safe to use with silicone sex toys.
Of course, the best place to shop for sex toys online is Condomania. Condomania has the largest selection of sex toys for couples, and 100% of our sex toys are medically tested for your safety.
Plus, you get guaranteed discreet shipping and billing, so your bank or mail carrier won’t be up in your business.
Don’t know where to start when shopping for sex toys? Try taking this sex toy quiz. It only takes 30 seconds to get sex toy recommendations based on your unique needs as a couple.
Start Small
You won’t be able to live out your sex toy fantasies the first time you bring sex toys into the bedroom. It takes time to get comfortable using each type of sex toy with a partner.
So, when we say “start small,” it isn’t just about the size of the toy. It’s about the way you start introducing sex toys into your sex life.
Start with one sex toy at a time, even if you’ve bought a few. Take things slow and see how you like it.
You or your partner may want to return to toyless sex after using it for a few minutes, and that’s ok. Sometimes, it’s best to use toys for foreplay and save the fireworks for penetrative sex.
When using a sex toy on a partner, ask them for regular updates on how it feels and what they like.
Not everything will feel good, and if they don’t have a comfortable experience, they may not want to use that sex toy again.
Prepare for Resistance
Your partner is allowed to change their mind or feel insecure about using sex toys even if they’ve agreed to try them. This is a part of growing sexually.
If your partner objects to using sex toys or expresses some disappointment, you need to be there for them and remind them that to you, they are the most essential part of sex—not the toys.
Over time, they’ll become more open to using sex toys together as long as you are a generous and caring partner.
Grow Together
Once you’ve overcome the hurdles of introducing sex toys into your relationship, you’re ready to start exploring your sexual boundaries with the hundreds of types of sex toys on the market.
That’s right, this is only the beginning!
Sex toys can help you explore different erogenous zones and new kinks. For example, you may have wanted to try a clitoral vibrator with your partner.
That may develop into a desire to try a rabbit vibrator. Experimenting with a butt plug may cause him to want to try a prostate massager.
Some sexy thrills can only be delivered with toys, such as remote-controlled toys that allow you to control each other’s pleasure from afar.
Sex furniture also unlocks loads of new positions that wouldn’t be possible on a boring old bed alone.
Don’t stick with just one toy. Sex toy tech is advancing quickly, so new sensations are always discovered!
Buy Your First Sex Toy As a Couple Here
Buying your first sex toy as a couple is a special moment. So you don’t want to mess it up by shopping at a retailer that sells off-brands and unsafe toys.
Buy your sex toys at Condomania for guaranteed safe and tested products. We hand-pick every toy on our shelves for safety and quality. That’s why we’ve been the best in the business for over 30 years.
Condomania covers all your sex toy needs, and we’re also America’s favorite place to shop for condoms and lube. Start shopping for sex toys now, right here.
Want to learn more about shopping for sex toys for a partner? Find out how to give a sex toy as a gift here.
There’s lots more kinky fun to be had in our ultimate guide to male sex toys, rabbit vibrators 101, and cock rings 101.