What to Say to Your Partner When they Don't Want to Wear a Condom

What to Say to Your Partner When they Don't Want to Wear a Condom


3 minute read

You’re getting ready to hook up with someone you’re super into, and then everything screeches to a halt when they say the one thing you’ve been dreading, “I don’t want to use a condom.”

Sound familiar? We’ve all been in a situation where we’ve had to negotiate with a partner to use a condom, and it’s a total buzzkill.

Here are some of the most common condom excuses and how to reply with tact. A couple of scenarios, if you will... Our advice is not to fall for them as they are already pretty old and rather lame ones.

“I hate condoms. They never fit me!”

The truth: Condoms come in endless varieties of shapes, colors, smells, textures, and, yes, sizes. If your partner doesn’t like condoms, there’s a good chance that they have used the wrong size in the past.

Some condoms are as small as 2.5″ in circumference and ones as large as 4.42″ in circumference. Durex XXL condoms are over 9 inches long.

Keeping in mind that the average adult penis length (erect) is around 5.5 to 6.2 inches long, you’d be hard-pressed to find a guy that literally didn’t fit into any condoms.

Your reply: “Well, if you’re too big for a condom, you’re too big to have sex with me!”

Suggested Read: Varieties of Small Condoms

“I can’t feel anything when I use condoms” or “I just want to feel you, not a piece of latex.”

The truth: Condoms have made a lot of advances in the past twenty years. If the sensation is an issue, suggest that your partner might enjoy using an ultra-thin condom or a condom designed with extra headroom like ONE Pleasure Dome or a non-latex condom-like Lifestyles SKYN - all of which feel amazing.

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There’s also lube, which makes everything feel even better - “not feeling things” is a completely bogus excuse.

Your reply: “I can only feel something when I feel safe, and that means using a condom.”

“Don’t you trust me? Are you saying that you think I have an STD?!”

The only thing that using condoms “says” is that you both care about each other’s health (and that’s a good thing!)

At the end of the day, no one should have to negotiate to feel safe - ever. If your partner still doesn’t get it and refuses to use a condom, your reply is simple:

“You don’t want to wear a condom? I don’t want to have sex with you.”

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