When you go to a store to buy your first condom, it may feel like you have a dude with a megaphone walking behind you shouting: “This person is about to have sex, and they have no idea what they’re doing!”
And then there’s the anxiety about who might witness you browsing the devil’s balloons.
Every other shopper could potentially be your grandma—she’s just waiting to emerge from the frozen foods aisle just as you’re picking up a box of ribbed and studded hog holsters.
So, how do you buy your first condom without having a nervous breakdown?
And how do you know which one is the right condom for you? We’ve got the advice you need below, 100% grandma-free, guaranteed.
How to Buy Your First Condom
Buying condoms can be stressful, even for experienced condom shoppers. Before making your first condom purchase, there are a few things you should know...
Don’t Buy Condoms at the Store
The only reason to buy something at a store these days is if you need to ask the staff for their expert opinion.
Sorry to say, but nobody at the pharmacy or the grocery store is going to measure your D and size you up for the best condom.
You’re much better off buying condoms online. Here’s why:
👉 Waaaay more variety: Most stores stock 10-15 types of condoms from just a few brands. Online stores like Condomania stock 100s of rubbers from dozens of brands.
👉 Better info: Learn the benefits of each condom, along with info on size, safety, style, and more.
👉 No pressure: Take your time and shop around. Your grandma is nowhere to be found.
👉 Lower prices: Online condom retailers don’t have to pay massive overhead like stores do, so you can get the same condoms for up to 50% less $$$.
👉 Discretion: Worried about someone seeing condoms in your mail? Brands like Condomania ship in discreet packaging, so nobody will know what’s up with your package.
Billing is also discreet, meaning nothing condom-related will show up on your bank or credit card statement.
How to Find Your Size
Don’t just choose a condom with the coolest-looking box or kinkiest design. Condoms come in all sorts of shapes and sizes, and finding the right one is the key to having great (and safe) sex.
So, how do you find a condom in your size?
First off, you’ve got to learn the angle of your dangle. By that, we mean you’ve got to measure your penis. You can learn how to do that in about 60 seconds here. Hurry back, now.
Ok, next, check the specs of each condom to find one that matches the heat you’re packing. Use this size guide chart to get started:
Not all condom sellers list the size of their condoms, so you should choose one that does (like Condomania).
It can be a hassle to check the sizes of every condom you’re interested in, which is why we’ve categorized condoms by size.
Just click the link below to ONLY shop condoms in your size. You’ll be glad you did. Wearing the wrong size condom is like wearing the wrong size shoe.
It makes you clumsy in bed AND increases your risks of having an accident (in this case, accidental pregnancy).
How to Choose the Best Type of Condom
The world of condoms is a wide one (or should we say girthy?). There are many types to choose from, including ribbed, flared, studded, flavored, warming, ultra-thin, and more.
How do you choose the right style for your first condom?
Start simple. There’s no point in getting a condom souped up with bonus features before you experience the original version. Choose a standard, straight-fit condom in your size.
We can’t stress enough that size does matter when buying your first condom.
Here are a few classics we recommend for your first buy:
👉 The original: Trojan ENZ
Trojan ENZ Lubricated Condoms
$5.99
$8.99
Trojan ENZ Lubricated Condoms Trojan ENZ lubricated condoms are made for every guy’s bedside table. They’re a classic condom with a comfy fit and premium lubrication. No bells and whistles—just a reliable condom at a great price. Form-fitting for Maximum… Read More
👉 Bargain buy: Crown Skinless Skin
Crown Skinless Skin Ultra-Thin Condoms
$5.49
$7.99
Crown Skinless Skin Condoms: Like Riding Bareback! The super-strong Japanese latex used in the Crown Skinless Skin Condom is the closest to wearing nothing at all you’ll find. At only .05mm thin, these condoms provide the most natural feel without… Read More
👉 For a snug fit: CautionWear Iron Grip
Caution Wear IRON GRIP Snugger Fit Condoms
$5.99
$7.99
Caution Wear IRON GRIP Condoms Caution Wear Iron Grip Condoms are narrower in width for a tighter fit, with traditional straight parallel-sided construction. This condom falls into the slim fit, or 'snug' category -- if standard size condoms tend to… Read More
👉 For bigger guys: LifeStyles KYNG
LifeStyles KYNG Large Condoms
$7.99
$10.99
LifeStyles KYNG LifeStyles KYNG is a large-sized condom for guys who are on the longer side. At 8” long and 56 mm wide, it’s perfect for men who’ve got more length and a bit more girth than average. You won’t… Read More
👉 Latex-free: LifeStyles SKYN
LifeStyles SKYN Original Condoms (Latex-Free)
$9.99
$12.99
LifeStyles Skyn Condoms LifeStyles Skyn latex-free condoms were made for people with latex allergies. But then something unexpected happened. Skyn started selling like crazy to condom users across the spectrum. Skyn polyisoprene condoms bring a new level of closeness to… Read More
👉 Vegan: Union Standard
Union "Standard" Ultra-Thin Lubricated Condoms
$18.99
$21.99
Meet Union! The new line by Glyde condoms. Looking for a condom that won't cramp your style? Look no further than Union Standard ultra-thin condoms! Union is the new kid on the block and ready to spice up your life… Read More
Choose one of these condoms for your first buy, and you can’t go wrong!
Do You Need Lube?
Yup, you most certainly need lube. Condoms are intended to be used with lube.
In fact, using a condom without lube may increase your chances of a condom malfunction (such as the condom tearing or coming off during sex).
And it will definitely increase your chances of having bad sex.
Condoms come with a bit of lube on them but not enough to sustain your entire sesh. By adding a bit of extra lube, you make things a lot more comfy and pleasurable for both you and your partner.
But which one should you choose?
A good beginner lube is a water-based lube. This type of lube is the most versatile, so you can use it with every kind of condom.
It’s safe for all kinds of sex, too, including oral, anal, and vaginal. Plus, it won’t stain your sheets or your clothes. We recommend Sliquid H20.
If you want an extra slippery lube, go with silicone. It’s more expensive, but it lasts longer than water-based lubes. Try Gun Oil.
The only lube you shouldn’t use with a condom is oil-based lube. Oil can degrade latex and cause a tear. However, oil-based lube is fine to use with non-latex condoms.
When it comes to shopping, buying lube can be a hassle. For one, most shops stock very few types of lube.
And, buying lube in person is way more stressful than buying condoms.
It shouldn’t be, but something about handing a bottle of sex lube to a cashier is just nerve-wracking.
Instead, shop for lube online at Condomania. We have all the lube you could ever dream of in every slippery variety, including water-based lube, silicone lube, oil-based lube, and hybrid lube.
Want to learn more about sex lube and find out about our all-time favorite brands? Check out our ultimate guide to lube here.
Try a Condom Variety Pack
Finding the perfect fitting condom for your Johnson takes time.
You’ve got to learn what it feels like to do the no-pants dance with a condom first, and then you can start to experiment with different condoms until you find the most comfortable fit.
Unfortunately, this involves buying a lot of condoms, and it can take time to find one that really fits like a glove.
Or, you can speed run through the process with a condom variety pack. A variety pack lets you experience anywhere from 3 to 12 different condoms for the price of one box.
In this way, you can potentially test a year’s worth of condoms in just a few weeks, which will make you a condom pro in no time. And most importantly, it’ll help you find the perfect size and style for your needs.
For beginners, we recommend getting a variety pack of condoms in your size.
Every condom is sized a bit differently, so even if you’re packing an average-sized member, not every standard-sized condom will fit you just right.
By trying a number of condoms in your size range, you’re guaranteed to find a proper fit in no time.
Try one of these variety packs:
👉 Smaller (snug) size condom variety pack
👉 Standard-size condom variety pack
👉 Large-size condom variety pack
If you’re looking for something a little kinkier (or you just want to try loads of different condoms), you’ll find a lot more condom variety packs here.
Bonus: How To Put On A Condom
Whether you’re buying your first condom for yourself or for a potential partner, you need to know the basics of wrangling a penis with a condom. Here’s how to put on a condom (without looking like a total noob).
👉 Step 1: Use your fingers to open the condom wrapper along the spiky edge of the package (or where indicated). Never use scissors or other sharp objects to open a condom.
👉 Step 2: Place the condom on the head of the erect penis with the tip facing up (it should look like a little hat on your peen). Optional: put a bit of lube on the head of the penis too.
👉 Step 3: Unroll the condom over your shaft by pinching the tip and sliding it down. Roll it all the way down to the base of your D. DO NOT unroll the condom before putting it on.
👉 Step 4: Pinch the reservoir tip of the condom to remove any excess air.
👉 Step 5: Apply some lube to your condom-clad D. You can also add some to your partner’s naughty bits if they want.
👉 Step 6: Go to pleasuretown.
When you’re finished with your sex sesh, remove the condom immediately and throw it away. Be careful when you take it off to avoid dripping fluids.
It’s best to remove the condom carefully and put it in a tissue before tossing it in the garbage.
Also, whether you come or not, NEVER reuse a condom. That’s sooo gross.
Get Ready to Lose Your C-card
Are you a condom-shopping virgin? Well, get ready to lose your C-card.
Thanks to the wonders of the internet and all the great resources provided by Condomania, it’s ridiculously easy to buy your first condom (and hopefully, many many more!).
Remember, when you shop at Condomania, you’ll find a curated variety of condoms, toys and lubes, so now is a good time to buy some lube too.
And we ALWAYS ship and bill discreetly, so nobody will know your business but you.
You may even get some free condoms with your purchase….
Shopping for condoms is no longer the anxiety-inducing task it once was.
At Condomania, it’s actually fun! Click one of the condoms in this article to get a guaranteed great first condom. Or, browse hundreds more condoms here.
Want to level up your condom skills even more? Read our Condoms 101 guide to learn loads about condom styles, sizes, safety, and more.