Welcome to our guide on the long-forgotten and mystical art of cunnilingus….
Actually, it’s not long-forgotten and it’s not all that mystical. It’s just that most people don’t know how to do it.
The result? Most women are NOT satisfied when they receive cunnilingus.
Men and women alike are often ill-informed about performing the tongue tango, and it’s not their fault.
After all, many of us gained our vast vag knowledge from:
👉 Porn
👉 Friends’ experiences (who learned from porn)
👉Past sexual encounters
Improving your downtown game isn’t difficult. We interviewed women (gay and straight) and intimacy coaches to find out what really works.
With their advice, you’ll be able to bring her to the promised land and enjoy more closeness in your relationship.
We’ll even toss in some spicy tips on how to take her pleasure to new heights using your fingers, toys, and more….
Mastering the Art of Cunnilingus: Step-by-Step Guide
These steps were devised with the help of real women and intimacy experts. They take a bit of time to master, so take notes!
Even just taking a few of these tips to heart will yield massive changes to your game.
1. Pregame: Treat Her Like You Want Her
Foreplay is super important. But hold yer horses.
Foreplay is like warming up before the game. But before that, you have to let her know you want to play.
Tell her throughout the day that you can’t wait to go down on her. Compliment her boy and tell her how it turns you on. Say you love being close to her and hearing her moan.
All of this builds intimacy, trust, and excitement. It makes her more receptive to your touch and more willing to enjoy the act.
Many women feel uncomfortable receiving oral sex. She may be insecure about the appearance of her genitals, her scent or taste, or even having the focus all on her—women can often feel undeserving of the act of oral sex.
If a woman feels uncomfortable or insecure during oral sex, she may have more trouble reaching orgasm.
Your job is to make her feel appreciated and desired.
2. Foreplay: The Warm-up
You need to engage in foreplay BEFORE going down on her. If you treat cunnilingus as foreplay itself, your partner might not feel ready, which can be awkward.
Also, it’ll take a lot longer to get her to where she wants to be. On average, women take 20 minutes to reach orgasm. Include some foreplay and your jaw will thank you!
Take your time kissing, hugging, and touching your partner, making sure she is aroused.
Let your fingers do some of the work by gently massaging her clit before heading downtown.
For heightened arousal, try adding a touch of arousal gel to her clitoris. Massage slowly, or caress her body as she pleasures herself.
Not all women enjoy arousal gel, especially those who are highly sensitive. Never apply it without asking first.
3. Go Down Slowly
Her vagina is not a swimming pool, so don’t dive in headfirst. The clit is your final destination, but before you get there, tantalize her with slow movements, sexy kisses, and stimulating touches all over her body.
This will have her moaning with anticipation long before you reach your destination.
Start with her neck and move your way down her body to her breasts, hips, pubic mound, and inner thighs.
Just before you make contact with her kitty, give her more teases by lightly kissing it or blowing on it.
Then, skip it altogether and move down the legs to the toes and finally back up again before you start the act. Be careful around those legs.
By now, she might be so turned on that she’ll try to wrap them around you and pull you in!
Taking it slow is also a great way to show her how much you adore her body. The more comfortable she feels when you are going down on her, the more pleasure she’ll get from the experience.
4. Be Gentle
Porn teaches us that vaginas should be treated like 80s hair metal bands treat their guitars.
But remember that the clitoris has 8000 nerve endings and is extremely sensitive. If you stimulate it too much, she will feel uncomfortable and may even become numb to pleasure.
This is actually the biggest complaint women have about oral sex according to our research and interviews.
And most of the complaints are about men, which makes sense. Men don’t have the hardware to relate.
But it doesn’t mean they can’t learn.
To keep your tongue under control, think of the clit like a kitten’s nose. How hard would you touch it or press it before the kitten would bat you away?
That’s about how much power you should exert on the clitoris.
And it doesn’t just apply to the clit.
Be gentle with the vagina and don’t act like you’re racing to the finish. Start with light vertical licks from top to bottom.
Use your tongue to arouse her, but make sure to focus on broad consistent strokes. Avoid jabbing your tongue or fingers inside her.
5. Know her Erogenous Zones
Now that you’re in a good, slow, consistent groove down there, it’s time to work on those magical parts of her body that will turn her pleasure up to 11.
These are the erogenous zones, or the parts of the body that turn her on when touched.
Knowing the erogenous zones is like having a roadmap to pleasure town. Without them, you’ll be fumbling in the dark—and she’ll notice.
There are 2 types of erogenous zones you need to know to master the art of cunnilingus.
The first are her non-vaginal erogenous zones. These include:
👉 Her mouth
👉Her ears
👉The nape of her neck
👉The back of her neck
👉Her breasts and nipples
👉Her inner thighs
Use your hands to explore these erogenous zones while you’re going down on her. This will increase her pleasure and throw some variety into the mix.
The second type of erogenous zones are the ones in and around her vagina. These include:
👉 The pubic mound
👉 The clitoris
👉 The G-spot
👉 The A-spot
👉 The O-spot
👉 The V-spot
The clitoris is the star of the show when it comes to cunnilingus, but it’s worth giving some attention to a few other zones.
The ones you’ll have easy access to are the G-spot, V-spot, and pubic mound.
The pubic mound is the area just above the vagina, and this can be massaged like the other erogenous zones on her body.
The G-spot is located about 1 inch inside the vagina on the upper interior wall. It can be stimulated with a finger or a toy (more on this in the next step).
The V-spot is a gathering of nerve endings past the labia minora at the entrance of the vaginal canal.
Stimulate this spot by licking the vagina from top to bottom and penetrating slightly with your tongue. Remember to be gentle and move slowly!
6. Use Fingers or Toys
Women have many erogenous zones, and this means that they can reach orgasm in several different ways.
She can have a G-spot orgasm, a clitoral orgasm, an O-spot orgasm, etc. Some women can have orgasms from stimulation of non-vaginal erogenous zones too, like the nipples.
Women generally find cunnilingus more pleasurable when multiple zones are stimulated at once.
To double or triple the fun, use your fingers or a toy to stimulate multiple zones.
ATTN: This is the key to becoming a next-level cunnilingus master. Most women will have more powerful orgasms when multiple zones are stimulated the right way.
Here’s how to do it:
👉 G-spot finger: This is the tried and true method for powerful orgasms. While giving consistent attention to the clit with your tongue, slip a finger about an inch inside her and make the “come here” motion. You should aim for a rough, spongy patch on the upper wall of her vagina. This is the G-spot. Work the clit and G-spot in a consistent rhythm and she will soon leave planet Earth. If your finger gets tired, switch to a G-spot vibrator like the LELO Gigi 2.
👉 Vibrator on the clit or nipples: Studies have found that the clit and nipples are the most sensitive to vibration. Use an ergonomic massager like the We-Vibe Tango X to stimulate these areas while you work your tongue on the clit and V-spot.
👉 Dildo for deep penetration: If she loves the feeling of fullness from penetration, it means she gets off from A-spot or O-spot stimulation. Use a dildo to penetrate deeper and reach these erogenous zones. A dildo can be especially helpful in same-sex relationships.
👉 Anal play: the O-spot and A-spot can also be stimulated via anal penetration. She may prefer this to vaginal penetration during cunnilingus. Use a butt plug or another anal sex toy (not your finger—this can spread bacteria) to penetrate her.
7. Follow her Movements
Becoming a cunnilingus master isn’t about developing your “secret” method. It’s about learning hers.
Every woman is different, and if you pay attention to her body, you’ll soon learn the best way to take her to the moon and back.
When you’re going down on her, pay attention to her movements. What is she doing with her hips, legs, arms, and back? What does this tell you about what she wants?
👉 If she pushes her hips up (or pushes your head down), she may want you to apply more pressure to her clit or go harder.
👉 If she retracts her hips, you might be stimulating the clit too much, or she might be directing your tongue downward.
👉 If she arches her back, she’s loving it. This doesn’t mean to go harder or faster. It means: keep doing exactly what you're doing. This is also true if she puts her arms above her head or near her face.
If you pay attention to the way your partner moves during cunnilingus, you’ll learn to decipher these sensual signals and give her exactly what she wants.
8. Stay the Course
As your partner approaches orgasm, do not change anything. You may get excited as she starts to lose control, or you might want to give her a “grand finale” by increasing the pressure or speed.
DO NOT do this.
Changing your rhythm at the last minute can cause her pleasure train to derail and prevent her from orgasming.
For most women, consistency is key. If what you’re doing is working, stick with it.
9. Cuddle Up
Congratulations. You’ve just given her an out-of-body-experience orgasm, and she’s collapsed on the bed in disbelief.
But your work isn’t over yet.
Crawl up the sheets and join her for a cuddle. Studies have found that cuddling post-orgasm strengthens bonds in your relationship and improves intimacy.
It also improves sexual satisfaction, which means cuddling will actually make you a better lover.
Hold Your Tongue: Do You Need a Dental Dam?
Dental dams are famous for being the prophylactic that no one uses.
But if you’re planning to go downtown with a new partner or a one-night stand, you should consider using one.
A dental dam is a thin plastic film that you place over the vagina or anus before the fun begins. It will protect you and your partner from STIs that are transmittable from oral sex, such as:
👉 Gonorrhea
👉 Chlamydia
👉 HIV
👉 Hepatitis
👉 Syphilis
You won’t find dental dams in most stores, but you can buy dental dams online.
Top 5 Adult Toys to Spice up Cunnilingus
Toys will allow you to stimulate multiple erogenous zones during cunnilingus. This is the most important factor in delivering explosive orgasms and mastering your downtown game.
Here are the toys that the women we interviewed have used (and never forgotten).
1. Hot Octopuss Kurve
For many women, the most powerful orgasm they can have is the clit and G-spot combo. Cunnilingus plus a toy is the best way to help her get there.
The Hot Octopuss Kurve is made for G-spot stimulation. It features a curved and bulbous head that automatically rubs her in the right spot upon insertion.
The Kurve is unique because it’s equipped with two motors. One provides buzzy vibrations and the other, deep rumbles. You can turn on one motor or both at the same time for a “treble and bass effect.”
2. We-Vibe Tango X Bullet Vibrator
The We-Vibe Tango X is a vibrator with an ergonomic hand-held design. It’s not meant for penetration but for use on her clit or other erogenous zones.
This is a convenient sex toy to use during cunnilingus because its ergonomic curves make it easy to hold.
You can move it all over her body, giving attention to her nipples and inner thighs or teasing her clit.
You won't have to worry about thwapping her with a vibrating dildo or losing your grip.
3. Lovense Hush Vibrating Butt Plug
It’s not for everyone, but some women experience even more powerful orgasms from cunnilingus when wearing a butt plug. The Hush by Lovense is definitely the one to choose.
Hush is available in a variety of sizes, so you can find the right fit for your boo’s bum. But more importantly, it’s app-controlled and Bluetooth-compatible.
That way, she can control the plug’s intensity and vibrations from her phone while you’re busy focusing on more important things down below.
You know what they say: teamwork makes the dream work.
4. Lovense Lush
Another hands-free product by Lovense, the Lush is an app-controlled insertable G-spot vibrator.
Also known as an egg-style vibrator, she inserts the bulb-shaped toy into her vagina and turns on the vibes.
The Lush is designed to provide targeted pressure and vibration to the G-spot, so she can stimulate her G zone while you focus on her clit.
As the master of cunnilingus, you don’t have to worry about providing internal pleasure when she takes control of the Lush.
You can give all your attention to her clit and external erogenous zones.
The Avant Ergo dildo is a classic, affordable dildo for women who enjoy the sensation of penetration during oral sex. It’s also a great toy for those who don’t enjoy vibrations.
This dildo is made from high-quality silicone, and it isn’t gargantuan, so it won't get in the way of your tongue.
It might take a little practice to master the slow thrusting motion while simultaneously working your mouth—but we’re confident you’re up to the challenge!
Become the Cunnilingus Master
Mastering the art of cunnilingus is incredibly powerful. When you know how to truly please a partner with your tongue, you upgrade your sexual status to LEGEND.
Women will talk about it. They’ll dream about it. And they’ll want to come back for round 2 ASAP.
However, it is a skill that requires practice, dedication, and self-control.
And most importantly, it requires patience—not just with your partner, but also yourself.
This list above is a framework for delivering above-and-beyond oral. But it’s important to remember that every woman is different. The moves you use on one may not work on another.
And that’s ok.
Be open to communicating with your partners about their pleasure and your own, and don’t forget that sex toys are your friends!
Keep an open mind, and remember that cunnilingus is not just about reaching the finish line quickly.
True masters know that the most satisfying sessions are about more than just pleasure—they’re about intimacy, trust, and having a blast with each other in bed.
Cunnilingus is just the beginning…
Want to learn more about how to push her pleasure buttons like no one has before? Check out this article on how to make her squirt (yes, every woman can do it—if you know what you’re doing!).
Or, learn more here about how to use a vibrator on her the right way. You’ll need this advice if you use a vibrator during cunnilingus!